Someday I'll be a Foodie

One of my favorite books is Kitchen Confidential by Anthony Bourdain. It’s obscene and groady and absolutely hilarious. If Bourdain is appearing on Top Chef I will plan my night so I can be sure to catch the episode. (I am one of the few people on the planet that does not have a TiVo or DVR. Wahhh.)

One person I cannot stand, however, is Gwyneth Paltrow. Ew. She’s so vanilla. She’s in love with herself and maintaining her golden image. It’s so boring. Ever since I saw her on Oprah a few years ago when she talked about her macrobiotic diet (the idea of eating that much miso makes me barf-o) and how on occasion she will allow herself to have a bite of ice cream. You know. To splurge. Honey, that is not a splurge. Drinking seven gin and tonics and then hitting Taco Bell for a cheesy bean burrito at 2 am- now THAT is a splurge. Trust me, I’m an expert on splurging.

So when I came across this, it was all just too much joy for me not to share on a Thursday. Mr. Bourdain, a natoriously potty-mouthed bad boy, seems to have a bit of a bone to pick with Gwyneth. Loves it! I’d like to paraphrase it here, but I’m afraid I’d hack it. Better just to jump over and read the article yourself.

Also, just for the record, my favorite chef is not Anthony Bourdain. My favorite chef is a pastry chef and he lives at my house. There’s something about a man coming home covered in sugar and chocolate after a hard day’s work that is just a little too irresistible.