The Subconscious Bride

I have had two wedding dreams in the past weekend. Two. I don’t know why. This is really confusing as I don’t even possess the *squee* factor most ladies have in abundance when it comes to all things “wedding.”

Dream 1:
It’s three hours before my wedding and I’m riding in a pickup truck into Plainview, Nebraska. I am with some unnamed rough-and-tumble cowboy and something tells me I’m hitch hiking. This is confirmed when I ask to be let out at the second hand store and he drives off. I go inside to shop for a wedding dress. The store is packed full of clothing, but none of it is what I want. I ask a lady for help and she shows me the only “wedding dress” they have: it’s a polyester green tube dress. I say, “no no, definitely not what I’m looking for” and I leave the store to go get married. In my jeans. In Plainview. Hmmm, got anything Freud?

Dream 2:
My wedding has become a challenge on HGTV’s “Design Star.” I have 9 hours to decorate and plan my perfect wedding! To win! A prize! So instead of running off to the party supply store what do I do? I am trying to catch fish in a 100 gallon aquarium to give to a Board member at work. I am chasing around these two little fish with a net, and I am thinking to myself that these fish are really ugly but it is absolutely imperative that I catch them. Ya know, for the Board member. Who NEEDS THESE UGLY FISH LIKE YESTERDAY WOMAN! Then I invite the Board member to my wedding and she’s all “Can I bring my boyfriend?” and I say of course. Then Schuyler flips out on me because we don’t have room for these people. OH yeah, and it’s Design Star so it’s time to start designing. First task? I kid you not… I decide to wax the windows on the front door of the reception hall. WAX. Ummm, I just want to take a moment to go on record by saying that I know you cannot wax glass, but apparently my subconscious is all “WAX THE WINDOWS… THE WINDOWS INTO YOUR SOULLLLL.”. Then my alarm went off, so I don’t even know if I won the Design Star challenge OR if I even got married.

My friend Kim assures me it is only going to get worse as the date looms. I wonder what’s next?

Time to invest in a creepy dreamcatcher. (It might be just me, but this picture makes me feel like listening to the Grateful Dead while tie dying my entire wardrobe.)