A week of cleansing...

So I made it. I'm alive. My feet are swollen, I'm sunburned, and I can't remember what day it is, but I'm alive.

Unfortunately, I have severely neglected my well-being these last few days weeks. In fact, I've basically been living on coffee, pizza from the gas station across the street from my office, and microwave popcorn. Throw in a sprinkling of powdered sugar donuts and late night glasses of cabernet and you have my diet. I think Kirstie Alley endorses it.

So starting tonight at midnight I'm starting a 7 day cleanse. Not the "Master Cleanse" that involves drinking massive amounts of water with lemon, maple syrup, and cayenne pepper. I'm just doing a simple detoxification with involves only drinking water with lemon in it, and only eating raw fruit and veggies. I will allow myself a bowl of brown rice a day if I can't bear the echoing aches of my stomach. But I'm cutting out protein, dairy, refined sugar, and processed foods. I suspect the caffeine withdrawal will crush my soul by Wednesday.

Also, I hope to lose 5 pounds. Or 15.

I also vow to post from my calorie-deprived state every day. I suspect it will read like Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas only with more drooling and crying.