Timeline of the worst 24 hours in history

How was my trip to Wilkes-Barre/Scranton? Hmm, well the leaves were changing, the weather was crisp and cool enough for me to wear my new amazing blue trench coat. It all goes south (figuratively and literally) from there. Oh yeah, and I didn’t get a tour of Dwight’s beet farm.

Tuesday
6:00 am
Wake up in hotel, watch sun rise over the beautiful fall-colored hills while drinking entire pot of crappy hotel coffee. Little Women was on HBO. I cried when Beth died. Again. For the 387th time.
12:30 pm
Work lunch blah blah insert work details here.
3:00 pm
Colleague and I go to private boarding school to snoop around and give some work materials to staff. Decided that this place was nuts and pretentious when Director of Admissions explains the Latin derivatives of his last name. $38,000 tuition for high school? Yeah, no thanks. I learned a lot of things in my public high school, but pretension and entitlement were not among them.
6:50pm
Time flight was supposed to leave.
7:15pm
Spend $4 on an US Magazine in airport kiosk
7:30 pm
Call home to tell Schuyler probably going to miss my connection in Newark.
7:55pm
Take off from Wilkes-Barre/Scranton
8:28 pm
Land in Newark
8:30 pm
Running (in heels!) through entire Newark airport.
8:34 pm
Showdown in Newark shuttle between Indian driver and angry voice on intercom. Driver so angry he refuses to actually drive. After much yelling from angry woman in back of the shuttle, we get to Terminal A. Where my flight is leaving from. Like.Right.Now.
8:44 pm
Told I missed my 8:40 flight even though I was at the gate and the plane was still on the runway. Don’t worry! We have you booked on the next flight to Jacksonville! Tomorrow! At like 6 am! YAY!
8:45 pm
Stomping and fist shaking. Find bathroom to cry in.
9:15pm
Spend an outrageous $32 on Barbara Walter’s memoir in airport bookstore. Because I? deserve a treat.
9:30 pm
After changing in lovely wet and smeary Newark bathroom , use $12 meal voucher and find CNN to watch debate.
1:30am
Sick. Sooooooooooooooooooooooooo sick. Is this flu? Or is this a result of crappy food from $12 meal voucher?
2:30am
Sick. Soooooooooooooooo sick. I hate Newark. And I discover stain on new amazing trench coat. Could be vomit. Not sure, so I smell it. Son of a bitch!
3:30 am
Kinda sorta fall asleep while reading.
4:30 am
Time to get up! Airplane time! Motion sickness on top of flu! Hooray!
5:30am
Hot tea from Dunkin’ Donuts finally calms me down and wakes me up.
6:30am
Goodbye Newark!!! I hate you!!

Only plus side?
I got to come home to a roommate-free house. Hooray! Much celebrating! (And by celebrating, I mean going to bed at 2:30 in the afternoon.)