Ode to High Fructose Corn Syrup and Target

All I want is caaaannnddyyyy. Particularly (but not limited to): Kit Kats, Almond Joy, peanut M&Ms, and Twin Bings (rarely found in these parts.)

I think I’m going to chalk it up to the fact that this week is going to be loooonnnggg. 11 hour day tomorrow, 10 hour day after that, Wilkes-Barre/Scranton PA next week for work (Oh please please please let me run into Jim Halpert and Dwight Schrute as they execute some sort of jello-related scheme) and painting the house, and potty training Lulu the Urine Queen. Oh, and did I mention I FORGOT my best friend’s birthday and am running out to Target of all God-awful places to get her a half assed present and card to ship out tomorrow in hopes of only being a week late. (HEY, if this po-dunk town had something nicer than Target, I’d go there. But seeing as the nearest Anthropologie/Sephora/anything nicer than TJMaxx is all the way up in Jacksonville, I have to stick with Target.)

Ugh I’m such a bad friend. Do not befriend me. If you do, never expect me to remember anything besides Happy Hour dates. Ugh I suck.

And I need candy.

P.S. Target I love you and you are not God-awful. I’m sorry to blasphemy you.

P.P.S. Please put cute yoga pants on sale.