3...2...1... Blast Off

Hi. I am preparing to lose my sanity. Please stand by.

What’s the surest way to make a woman lose her sanity? I’m not talking about leaving the toilet seat up or leaving your socks in random places around the house or even turning the channel when I’m watching The Rachel Zoe Project.

I’m distinctly talking about the dirty bitch called, “Home Improvement Projects.” And “Home Improvementpalooza 2009” has just hit the Cook/Brown household like a dirty a-bomb, leaving a mushroom cloud of drywall dust in its disastrous wake.

What started out as a “lets put a fence in the backyard so Lulu can play unsupervised” project quickly turned into an entire remodel of our living room ceiling (vaulting it for more light and space) and then the removal of the popcorn ceiling texture in the kitchen and halls. Have you ever removed popcorn ceiling texture? Here’s how it goes: Cover everything in the house with sheets, spray the ceiling with water, scrap ceiling with putty knife, mess ensues. I think I still have popcorn plaster in my hair from Saturday afternoon. Fancy!

So I am bracing myself for the living room ceiling to be torn down sometime in the next 24 hours by the DIYers Mr. Cook and his woefully ambitious son, Schuyler. It’s all supposed to be finished in two weeks (including the fence for Lulu.) Until then I’ll be living entirely out of our bedroom which is packed with living room stuff. It’s like camping in a consignment store! Beds and couches and tables and books and TVs and lamps and clothes all in one tight space.

Wish me luck…