30 Days of Truthiness

Man, I hate when I stop blogging and lose all my readers. I used to get 25 hits a day, and now I’m back down to a piddly four. Hi Sadie!

As with all things in my life, I get side tracked, lose track of time, forget my commitments, and basically just get swept away in a wave of life stuff—like how I came home from work the other night with the goal of cleaning and reading, and opened the door and stepped directly into a pile of dog vomit. Apparently Lulu decided to eat our entire plumeria bush and then redistribute the pieces of it throughout our living room. Too bad she’s so cute that I was only able to be pretend-mad at her, and she knows that I didn’t mean all the nasty things I yelled at her.

I so cute, even when I eat your expensive tropical flowers...

So I’m going attempt to blog for 30 days in a row. I’m going to cheat, too. I’m actually going to use prompts from the 30 Days of Truth. They are as follows:

Day 01 → Something you hate about yourself.

Day 02 → Something you love about yourself.

Day 03 → Something you have to forgive yourself for.

Day 04 → Something you have to forgive someone for.

Day 05 → Something you hope to do in your life.

Day 06 → Something you hope you never have to do.

Day 07 → Someone who has made your life worth living for.

Day 08 → Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.

Day 09 → Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 → Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11 → Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12 → Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13 → A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 → A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 → Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 → Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17 → A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 → Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 → What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 → Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21 → (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 → Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 → Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 → Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 → The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 → Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 → What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 → What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 → Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 → A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself

And I’m going to start today!

Day 1: Something I hate about myself.
I typically am very self-loathing in the first place. I don’t know what this stems from. I had a pretty supportive family growing up, and all my teachers were cut from the “you can do it! you are terrific” cloth. So to pick one thing I hate about myself is like picking one color of crayon to color with.

I really dislike my inability to trust my first instinct. I second guess everything, and at this point I don’t even know what my gut is telling me because I’ve ignored it for so long.
So everything with me becomes an ordeal. “What do you want for dinner?” and my response is “What do you want?” because I don’t know what I want. Maybe sushi? Is that ok with you and everyone else in the world? Utterly paralyzed. Maybe it’s because I grew up with a sister who always had to have her opinion known and abided by (Hi, again, Sadie!) and I’ve just grown to do as others wish.
Oh man, this sounds horribly pathetic. I should stop myself.
The next thirty days could be painful. For everyone.