I'll get you my pretty!

I've been suffering from nightmares lately. I wake up at the end, usually catching myself whimpering a little and breathing faster than I normally would. They aren't your run-of-the-mill nightmares either-- because once I roll over and calm down- slowly coaxing myself to sleep with the comfort of Schuyler next to me-- and fall asleep BOOM, I'm there again.

I'd like to blame my hormones or my eating habits, but I'm afraid I can't. I doubt that a chicken and bean burrito would give me the same nightmares as a slice of supreme DiGiorno pizza. (Dinner the previous two evenings...) (So what if I'm not eating healthily at the moment-- I did have hummus and tabouli from Manatee for lunch today. It's just-- pizza is SO GOOD.) And I can't blame my hormones because, well, I'm not menopausal.

Schuyler seems to say these aren't nightmares. He even giggles good-heartedly at me in the morning. "You would think an ax murderer was chasing you by the way you react in the middle of the night."

It feels like an ax murderer has been chasing me.

But my dreams star no ax-murderers, no demented butchers, nor even any living dead. What are these plaguing nightmares then?

Last night they included a woman dropping a baby off a cliff while I watch helplessly. Another I was 'knocking over' a convenience store and trying to blow it up with a credit card. Most of them involve me being with friends that slowly reveal horrible secrets to me. My dreams usually leave me not with terror or fear... they leave me with a feeling of betrayal.

So, needless to say, I haven't been sleeping well. "Nightmares give you more excuses to snuggle" my wonderful boyfriend says. And yes, if it weren't for him, I would probably be spending most of my nights watching late night TV afraid to fall asleep instead of trusting that I'm ok next to him-- that they are just dreams.

So perhaps tonight I will plan a dinner of pasta and take a run. That should clear my head, my stomach, and my hormones. If that doesn't work- I guess I'll just have to get pass out drunk.

Kidding of course.

Maybe.