Have a Guiness

I vividly remember my 21st birthday. Ok, not vividly, it's more of a progression of vivid to blurry, to barely cognisant.

It was almost 3 years ago... I was on Christmas break in Plainview. I remember being extremely disappointed that I was turning 21 on a Monday night in rural Nebraska. However, my great friends Kim, Stacey, Derek and Jessica managed to round up almost 30 people for a night of smoked turkey, margaritas (quite the combination), baked potatoes, darts, poker (for the guys), and a bar run at midnight.

I had a disgusting cake made by my friend Erica in the shape of male genitalia. I don't believe I even tried a slice as I am of the school of thought that flesh colored icing is not edible.

Anyway, after a lengthy progression of goldschlager shots, gin martinis, and anything else the bartender felt like giving me I arrived at that place all must go on their 21st: sick.

There was this 'brute' that was a friend of friends and brother to one of my best friends. He initiated the poker game at the earlier party, and accompanied us to the bar. I was always just a teeny bit afraid of him because, being 3 years older than me, used to terrorize me as a child. he was big, had a lot of facial hair, and everyone called him "Muff." Despite our mutual friends, my childhood fear continued into my 21st birthday.

But back to me being sick. He led me out of the bar and held me up while I stood in the 20 degree weather saying "i'm not sick." He was going to make sure in my vulnerable state that I had a little dignity-- he held me up straight.

My parents picked me up, and forever the understanding and patient ones, understood that it was my birthday and the hangover should be punishment enough. I think very few can say that. The next day I realized this big brute of a guy wasn't so bad-- in fact-- was kind hearted. It's inevitable when I think of my 21st birthday I think of that ridiculous cake, the fun laughs with my girlfriends, the freezing cold weather, why I will never drink Goldschlager again, and how I felt like I made a friend that night.

My "new friend" died yesterday in a motorcycle accident. I'm devastated. Not for myself, or even for Plainview who is taking it as a shock-- but for all of my friends that lost him. So many of my loved ones that still call Nebraska home were so close to him. I so wish I could be there for them.

And I certainly regret all those years I spent afraid of Clint...