Merry Week Off From Work!

Yes, that's right. I have an entire WEEK off of work. It's lovely. I can hardly contain myself. AND I've been very productive. Spent Christmas in Bradenton meeting my boyfriend's father/family, got some lovely presents including new headlights for my car and finally a new pair of Rainbows so I can retire my worn-through disgusting pair I've had since I was 20. AND I have found a my new wealth to be in Target gift cards- so shopping spree here I come. (Although I'm contemplating getting a new flat screen TV... I just can't justify buying something so conducive to laziness and staying at home.)

Since Christmas I've been home alone a going a little stir crazy. The house (including the shower and kitchen floor) is spotless, homemade Spanish bean soup on the stove, homemade cookies, yoga every day, and quickly devouring the Christmas present I bought myself, the book "Eat, Pray, Love." I typically don't go for the mainstream book-of-the-month type stuff, but a female I greatly esteem and, quite frankly, look up to recommended it. I believe her exact words were, "You must promise me to buy it now!"

Now I'm just waiting for New Years Eve and my birthday. Seriously- the holidays are only half way over for me. I've been fighting the holiday blues despite all this merry-making.

No Christmas tree this year. I missed out on my grandmother's oyster soup and my dad's ridiculous card games. And the snow. It snowed all Christmas day in tiny little Plainview Nebraska. I wore a short sleeved shirt and ran the air conditioning on our drive home on Christmas. I felt disoriented all day. And even today I feel disoriented.

And in one day I find out one of my friends is engaged while another is getting a divorce.

I was laying in yoga class this morning during our first savasana and instead of clearing my mind like my happy-voiced teacher was gently urging us to do, all I could think about was fate and decisions and which one I should trust more. Should I trust my heart and know that fate will lead us through life or should I stick with my brain-- make the logical decisions, the ones that will allow me to be safe in this life.

Anyone who knows me already knows this answer. It's just hard for me to finally let go of all control and follow my heart. It's been painstakingly put back together several times already.

So in closing- my new years resolution is this: As long as it doesn't involve work there shall be no more expectations or deadlines for Margo.

Please remind me of this periodically throughout the year.