The post where I try to gain some perspective... spoiler alert: FAIL

We all remember Bonkers, right?
Well that little SOB is back. He’s back, only this time he’s in the LEFT eye. He’s such a severe sty that he woke me up at 4am last night. I stumbled into the bathroom, turned on the light (that burned my eyes like a thousand angry suns) to only look into the mirror and see Bonkers reincarnate.

And I seriously considered calling in because of this sty. Honestly, I’d love nothing more than to take a double dose of Tylenol, put a hot towel over my face, and watch 8 hours of A Baby Story on TLC as I simultaneously recoil in horror. (I saw a woman on that show last week who was pregnant with triplets and her stretch marks are still haunting me. I want to send her a muffin basket and a bottle of nice Tequila to cheer her up. Seriously. That POOR WOMAN. Also, PLEASE GOD I DO NOT EVER WANT TRIPLETS MY SKIN IS WEAK AND CANNOT TAKE THE STRETCHING!) (Also, just to clarify, no I’m not pregnant.)

So I guess I’m just going to suck it up (or in) because it could be worse. I’m only stuck with The Second Coming of Bonkers. Some people have to deal with stretch marks caused by three ungrateful triplets who will eventually turn into three ungrateful teenagers who want things like food, and designer jeans, and drivers licenses. The horror.